Mish' Fiction

It had been a week since… Paridhi blushed as she thought about it… since they had accepted each other in their lives. She was on cloud nine. If she could have it her way, she wouldn’t leave Subrato’s side even for a second. But he had to settle in his job, do a lot of paperwork in the office as well as outside and generally get his act of relocation together. He was in control of everything and was by no means inattentive to her. But she was like a proverbial kid in the candy store. She was excited, had gone almost berserk. When Subrato was not around, she would go on shopping trips like she had never done before. She had amassed a pile of dresses and accessories in all shades of purple. The funny thing, however, was that she had never worn them. She felt incredibly nervous when the opportunity to wear any of them came for their dinner outings. She would try them, but would ultimately drop the idea and rush out wearing one of her usual dresses. Her work was clearly affected too. She hadn’t been able to read a single paper from the list Steve had given her in the entire week. Thankfully he didn’t say anything to her. Given that she always worked hard, he assumed that she would come around. Everyone deserved to be cut some slack once in a while.

“Paridhi,” Subrato had to meet some old acquaintances over breakfast on Saturday and had just returned from there. He knocked at her room door several times, but did not hear a reply. “I am coming in,” he announced as he got worried.

“No. No. No. No. No,” a worried Paridhi ran out of the attached bathroom and jumped on her bed.

“I… I am sorry,” he assumed that she was embarrassed because she was undressed and made to leave, but realized immediately that it was not the case. He turned back to be greeted by a weird site. Paridhi was sitting atop a pile of purple fabric on her bed, apparently trying to hide them. He looked attentively and realized that they were a bunch of dresses.

“What… are you doing?” he raised his eyebrows in curiosity.

“Nothing. Nothing at all. What are you doing here?” she tried to hide her embarrassment by acting defiant.

“I was… No. First you tell me. What is all this?” he pointed towards her dresses.

“What would it be? My dresses. You have a problem?”

“As a matter of fact, I do. I have never seen you wearing any of these.”

“You have been here for less than two weeks.”

“Hmm… And even the tags have not been taken out from most of them. I heard some rumors that for last one week, no socialite in New York is able to buy anything in purple. I think I know the culprit.”

She gulped, but still managed to maintain a brave front, “Stop making fun of me.”

He sat down on the bed and she got startled. She lost her balance and fell back on the bed. Subrato followed her deliberately and pinned her under him. “Stop lying to me,” his voice was hoarse.

“Okay. I bought them. So what?”

Subrato could see how nervous as well as excited she was even as she continued to act saucy. “But you didn’t use them. So, I might as well use them now. You know wrap them around us because the room is getting cold and…”

“Subrato,” her nervousness and inexperience got better of her finally.

“Wow!” he looked in her eyes and smiled mischievously, “You got the perfect pronunciation. In the first attempt.” He felt elated on hearing his name from her, but continued his little game, “So, I might just forgive you for wasting these dresses for last one week.”

He got up pulling her back with him. Paridhi felt confused. Why did he withdraw? Wouldn’t he want to… Especially after he had told her so many times that he has been in love with her for long. Did she act inappropriately? Does she need to do something differently? May be she needs to use one of the tricks the dating and relationship magazines mention. May be his emotional connection with her hasn’t resulted in sexual attraction yet.

Her attention went back to him on hearing his voice, “How about you wear this for dinner tonight?” He had picked up a shiny satin dress, “And this homely one for lunch because I am planning to cook you a great Bengali lunch today.”

That brought her out of her confused thoughts for a while. “But aren’t you tired?”

“Not at all. You like fish, I hope?”

“Yes. I do.”

“Great. I got some from the grocery store on my way back.” He kissed her on forehead and got up, “Get ready. I will be in the kitchen.”

He walked out leaving her smiling and still a little dazed and confused. She sighed and tried to put herself at ease, “He is just taking it slow. For my sake. And thank God for that! May be tonight…” she looked at the dress he had picked for her to wear at night and grinned.

—

“Oh God! I overate… Badly! First lunch… Now dinner…” Paridhi deposited herself on the couch looking like she won’t move an inch from there now.

“Sleep it off then,” Subrato also sat down beside her and suggested helpfully.

“No!”

“What happened?” her intensity surprised Subrato.

“Nothing… Nothing at all…” Paridhi mumbled. She didn’t want to sleep. She was hoping… But she couldn’t tell him that, could she? Without realizing she turned crimson at her thoughts.

“Paridhi? Are you all right?”

“I am fine… What has come upon you? I just don’t want to sleep right now.”

“Okay. So, what do you want to do?” he smiled.

“I… I don’t know… Or talk, I guess…”

“Great! I don’t have to make an effort, then. You are the master in that art.”

She hit him playfully on the shoulder, “If you make fun of me talking, I will never ever talk to you.”

“Really? Let’s try that. If you can stay silent in my presence for just ten minutes, I will believe you.”

“You know what… I will kill you,” Subrato’s teasing had gotten to her and she started hitting him continuously. Subrato laughed out loud and forcefully pulled her in a hug. She resisted initially, but gave up pretty soon.

He broke the hug after a while, but held her close and spoke, “There is something… very important… that I want to talk to you about.”

“What?” her eyes shone in excitement… and expectation. He cared so much for her. He would talk before taking any steps…

“I think you should get back in touch with your mother.”

Paridhi was so surprised that she jerked back. There was mixture of bewilderment and contemplation on her face, “Why are you saying this?”

Subrato thought for a moment and smiled while answering, “Your question is your answer.”

“Excuse me?”

“You did not question my suggestion that you should get back in touch with her. You only questioned me suggesting it. So, you have thought about it too. Am I right?”

She nodded still looking thoughtful.

“And I had felt that… Somewhere you are restless… worried… That’s the only reason I suggested…”

“I worry about her. But I am scared for myself too. I don’t want to… I can’t go back to those days. That stress, hopelessness and… feeling of worthlessness…”

“Paridhi. You must realize something at this stage,” he paused to see her reaction. She was looking at him expectantly. So, he continued, “The reason you were being treated like that by your family was not that you were weak or helpless. At least there was nothing in the external world that made you weak. Your weakness was within you, your obsessive need to comply with them, that sense of responsibility you had that it didn’t matter whether others did their duty towards you or not, you could not dodge what you saw as your duty… I do not mean it in a negative sense. Our love and care does make us vulnerable and weak. The reason I am talking about this is that so long as you have moved past that, that thing inside you which was letting others treat you like… like you weren’t a human, you have nothing to fear. Back then, the dynamics of your relationship with your mother was defined by her, or her set ideas of what her society considered right. If you call her now, you will have the upper hand, you will define the dynamics, you will define who is powerful and who is not. There is no reason to be scared for yourself, Paridhi. Absolutely none.”

Tears clouded her eyes and she half smiled through them. “I…” she started speaking, but stopped with a nervous laughter as if she couldn’t find words. Then she made another attempt, “You can’t be real… Am I dreaming or something? What are you made up of?”

He raised one eyebrow comically, “Seriously? That’s one hell of a thankless job I am doing. Now I don’t even exist for you?”

This made her chuckle and she leaned onto him for another hug. “Do you want me to call her now?” she asked while still in the hug.

“Whenever you want Paridhi. I am not doling out a punishment to you, am I?”

“I will do it tomorrow morning. She stays awake till late… watching her soaps.”

“All right.”

They stayed like that for a while and Paridhi did not realize that she had fallen asleep in his arms. He woke her up gently, dragged her in her sleepy state to her room and tucked her in the bed.

—

To be continued