Mish' Fiction

Geet woke up at night and did not find Maan by her side. She looked around to find him near the window looking outside. He was facing away from her; so she could not see his face. She wondered what was keeping him awake at that hour of night.

She walked up to him and touched his arms, “Maan!”

His face showed excessive worry as he turned back. He immediately took her in his arms and hugged her tight. She hugged him back as a natural reaction to his hug, but could not fathom the reason behind his worry.

Before she could ask, he started speaking nervously, “Geet – tum mujhse naraaz mat hona. Mujhe chhod kar kabhi mat jaana Geet. Main nahin jee paunga tumhare bina.”

“Shaant ho jaiye Maan. Ye aap kaisi baatein kar rahe hain? Main aapko chhod kar kyon jaungi?”

“Ek baar tum mujhe chhod kar gayi thi, to main insaan se haiwaan ban gaya tha,” he was recalling how he behaved at Indian Paints after she had walked out on him and refused to marry him, “Mujhse waada karo Geet ki agar mujhse koi galti bhi ho jaye, to tum mujhe jo chahe sazaa de dogi, leking mujhe chhod kar nahin jaogi.”

His pain and worry was now hurting her too. She blinked back the tears coming in her eyes, before breaking the hug and taking his hands his hers, “Maan. Woh meri galti thi aur main sapne mein bhi aisi galti dubara nahin kar sakti. Kya maine saat pheron ke saath hi aapse waada nahin kiya tha ki main hamesha aapke saath rahungi. Sukh-dukh mein, achchhe-bure waqt mein?”

He just nodded and did not say anything. So, she continued, “Aap chahein to main hazaar baar ye waada kar sakti hoon Maan. Kuchh bhi ho jaye main aapko chhod kar kahin nahin jaungi. Kaise ja sakti hoon main kahin? Meri saari duniya, mere saare rishte, meri zindagi – sab aap par shuru ho kar aapse hi khatam hote hain. Aap mere pati hain, mere bachche ke pita hain. Koi bhi muskil, koi bhi problem in bandhano se oopar nahin ho sakti mere liye. Aap please aise khayal apne man se nikaal dijiye. Aur mujhe bataiye ki hua kya hai.”

Her words calmed him down and it reflected on his face too. He hugged her again, a more relaxed hug this time.

“Kuchh nahin hua hai Geet. Bas ek bura sapna dekha tha aur neend toot gayi. Tum kaise uth gayi Geet, kuchh chahiye tha?”

“Mujhe pyaas lagi thi. Kamre mein paani khatam ho gaya hai. Main le kar aati hoon.

“Nahin tum aaraam karo,” he said touching her tummy and smiling, “Hamare baby ko aise raat ko pareshaan karna theek nahin hai. Main paani le kar aata hoon. Kuchh aur chahiye?”

“Nahin,” she said smiling back.

He got her the water and they lied down with Geet in his arms. She was soon asleep, but Maan had lost his sleep. He recalled seeing her in the afternoon, after he was coming out of a meeting at a client’s office.

“Hi MK,” she had called out to him.

He froze as he looked at her. The face and voice were difficult to miss, even though he had buried them in the past somehow.

“Sameera!” He spoke involuntarily.

“Cool. Tum bhoole nahin ho…” she had started the conversation, but he just turned back, got into his car and drove away.

He had never told Geet about her. He hadn’t intentionally wanted to keep her in the dark. But he just did not want to relive those painful memories. And with Geet’s own past haunting her so badly until recently, he did not want to add to her stress with his story. The story of a past that should have no effect on their beautiful future together. He did not bother with it.

But seeing Sameera that afternoon had shaken him. For th first time he consciously felt that it was a mistake on his part to not tell Geet about her. How would she feel if she came to know about it now? What if it stressed her out? And given her complicated pregnancy, could he risk that?

—

Geet was already in the meeting with the client when Maan walked into his cabin. He shook hands with Mr. Mishra, “Mujhe pichhli meeting mein der ho gayi Mr. Mishra…”

“No Problem Mr. Khurana. Ms. Geet ne meeting time par shuru kar di thi aur hamein aapki company ka initial brief de bhi diya hai.”

Maan smiled at Geet, “Thank you Geet.”

Geet smiled back and drew his attention to the woman accompanying Mr. Mishra, “Maan – aap inse mile nahin. Mr. Mishra ki dost hain aur shayad aap dono ek doosre ko achchhi tarah jaante hain.”

Maan noticed her then.

“Hi MK. Long time!” Sameera was smiling.

“Mr. Khurana. Sameera meri dost hai. Jab maine ise bataya ki main aapse meeting karne ke liye aa raha hoon to ye bhi saath aa gayi. Aapse milne.”

“Maan, Sameera bata rahi thi ki aap college mein saath padhte the,” Geet said enthusiastically. She was genuinely happy to meet a friend of Maan’s.

Maan unconsciously clutched Geet’s hand surprising her, as he looked sternly at Sameera. Sameera noticed him clutching Geet’s hand.

He addressed Mr. Mishra instead, “To hum discussion continue karein.”

“Sure.”

As they all sat down, Maan realized that he was holding Geet’s hand and left it feeling awkward.

Geet noticed that Maan was not able to pay attention to the discussion at all. So, apart from taking notes, she also had to continue handling the actual discussion. At the end of it Mr. Mishra asked Maan, “So, Mr. Khurana. Maine apni requirements more or less explain kar di hain. What is the way forward?”

Maan had hardly paid attention to what was going on in the meeting. He looked absentmindedly at Geet.

“Mr. Mishra. Hum do dinon mein aapko proposal bhej denge, jismein priliminary designs aur budget estimates honge,” Geet replied to his question.

“Sure. Thank you Ms. Geet.”

He shook hands with Maan and Geet and left with Sameera.

Geet could not hold herself back any longer and she turned to Maan as soon as the visitors left the room, “Maan. Kya baat hai? Aap kal se hi pareshaan hain aur abhi bhi meeting mein aap dhyaan nahin de rahe the. Sameera aapki friend hai lekin aapne usse ek baar bhi baat nahin ki. Kya problem hai?”

“Koi problem nahin hai Geet. Hum baad mein baat karte hain. Abhi tum jao.”

“Lekin Maan…”

But Maan pretended to be rude, “Geet. Main tumhare boss ki haisiyat se tumhein bol raha hoon ki abhi mujhe akele rah kar kuchh kaam karna hai. To jao yahan se.”

There was a time when she used to get really angry at his I-am-the-boss card. But by now she was well aware that he played it only when he was disturbed out of his mind. She decided to oblige him for the time being. Office would not be the best place to tackle him in this bad mood.

—

She was thinking about it while walking back to her cabin, when she realized just how odd his behaviour with Sameera was. From the way Sameera had introduced herself, it appeared that they knew each other very well. Then why this coldness towards her? She also realized that his mood was fine when he had entered the room. But it went for a toss as soon as he saw Sameera. What was wrong? Why wouldn’t he tell her?

She had barely reached back to her cabin, when she noticed through the partially open blinds that Sameera had come back to Maan’s cabin.

—

“Tum yahan kyon aayi ho Sameera?”

“Kya main tumse do minute baat bhi nahin kar sakti?”

“Mujhe tumse koi baat nahin karni hai. Aur haan – jahan tak main samjhta hoon, tum Mr. Mishra ki friend ho. Unke business se tumhara koi lena-dena nahin hai. To behtar hoga ki tum hamare saath hone waali business meetings mein na aao.”

“Come on MK. For old time’s sake. Oh! Or are you too scared of your secretary? Tumhare taste ko kya ho gaya hai? What’s her name? Geet – yeah!”

“Mrs. Geet Khurana!” Maan replied sharply. “Geet meri wife aur is company ki co-owner hai Sameera. Tameez se baat karo uske baare mein.”

Geet had just reached the door of his cabin and heard him shouting at Sameera. She hesitated and stopped there instead of going in.

Sameera was shocked as she realized that Maan was married to Geet. But she immediately came back to herself, “I am impressed MK. Such a successful boss-secretary romance! Daad deni padegi us ladki ki. She has got brains.”

“Sameera. Main aakhiri baar tumhein kah raha hoon. Geet ko judge karne ki tumhari aukaat nahin hai. Geet ka naam bhi dubara apni zubaan par mat laana. Tum us layak nahin ho. Isi waqt yahan se chali jao. Dubara mere ya Geet ke saamne aane ki koshish bhi mat karna. Agar abhi ke abhi tum yahan se nahin gayin to main apni hadein bhool jaunga and khud dhakke maar kar tumhein bahar nikaal doonga. Leave. Now!” his eyes showed extreme anger and hatred for Sameera. His roaring voice added to the impact.

Even Geet got scared looking at this side of Maan. Sameera was frightened out of her wits with his anger and left immediately.

Geet stepped back so that Sameera did not see her while coming out of Maan’s cabin. She considered going to Maan and asking him about what transpired. But she decided against it. He should feel comfortable enough to tell her himself. She would pretend she did not hear anything until she can get him to speak his mind.

—

Maan saw Nakul coming in their room with the food trolley. Geet followed him in to the room. Maan looked at her questioningly.

She said after Nakul left, “Dadi Ma bahar gayi hui hain. Dinner bhi apni friend ke yahan karengi. To maine socha ki hum apna khana kamre mein hi mangwa lein.”

Maan smiled, went to her and hugged her from behind, “Kyon? Khane ke saath kya karne ka irada hai Mrs. Khurana?”

“Khana khane ka Mr. Khurana,” Geet replied promptly freeing herself from his hug and started arranging their plates. Maan stopped her and asked her to sit on the bed. He would bring the food.

“Main kar rahi hoon na Maan!”

“Nahin Geet. Tum ja kar baitho,” he practically pushed her away.

Geet made a baby face, but did what he asked her to do.

Maan came to her and sat down on the bed with food in one plate.

“Ek hi plate?”

“Hmm. Apno ka jootha to kha sakte hain na Geet?”

They were reminded of the incident when he had asked her the same question during Pari’s visit. She had dodged the question then, by saying that she did not understand him. Today, she blushed and happily took the bite that he was holding in front of her.

“Aaj main apni pyaari si biwi aur baby ko apne haathon se khana khilaunga.”

Geet tore a piece of chapati from the plate, dipped it in the curry and took it near Maan’s mouth, “Par aapki problem ye hai ki apni biwi aur baby ke chakkar mein aap apna khayal rakhna bhool jate hain.”

“Kya farq padta hai Geet? Tum ho na mera khayal rakhne ke liye,” he took in the bite from her. Then added, “Hamesha rahogi na mere paas Geet?” His face again started showing the worry she had seen last night.

She took the plate from his hands and kept it on the side table. Then she held his hands and asked, “Maan. Aisi kya kami rah gayi hai mere pyaar mein jo aapko mere saath ka bharosa nahin ho raha hai? Aap mujhe bas ek baar boliye ki main kaise aapka bharosa wapas jeetoon – main kuchh bhi karoongi iske liye.”

“Nahin Geet, nahin,” he hastened to reply as he realized that he was unnecessarily making her feel guilty, “Tumhare pyaar, vishwas aur samarpan mein koi kami nahin hai Geet. Ho hi nahin sakti. Tum aisa kabhi mat sochna. Lekin…”

“Lekin kya Maan?”

“Agar mujhse koi galti ho gai ho to?”

“Aap kabhi galat nahin hote Maan. Aapka kiya hua koi bhi kaam meri nazar mein galti nahin ho sakta. Aur agar kuchh galat kiya bhi hai aapne to mujhe pata hai ki mere bhale ki liye hi kiya hoga. Aap aaj Sameera par chilla rahe the – ye sahi baat to nahin hai. Lekin woh bhi aapne mere liye hi kiya,” she had forgotten about her decision of not letting him know that she had heard his conversation with Sameera.

Maan looked at her in shock. How much had she heard?

“Maan. Aap please mujh par aur hamare rishte par bharosa kijiye aur jo bhi aapke man mein hai bata dijiye. Hamein ek doosre ka imtihaan thode hi na lena hai. Hamein to zindagi ke saare imtihaan mil kar dene hain. Jaisa ki humne ab tak kiya hai. Aapne meri saari pareshaaniyon ko apna liya Maan. Main bhi wahi karoongi. Bina sharton ke pyaar karna, saath nibhana maine aapse hi seekha hai. Main kabhi peechhe nahin hatoongi. Bataiye Maan.”

She had managed to instill confidence in him finally.

“Geet. Mujhe tum par poora bharosa hai. Haan kabhi-kabhi main bhi tumhari saaf-dili, bholepan aur maasoomiyat se dhokha kha jata hoon. Dar lagta hai ki kahin pareshaaniyan tumhare bardasht ke bahar na ho jayen, kahin tum unke tale dab na jao. Lekin tum hamesha mujhe yaad dila deti ho ki bachchon ki tarah hansne-khelne waali meri Geet ke peechee ek bahut mature aur strong ladki hai, jo duniya ki sabse achchi biwi hai aur bahut kabil Maa banne ja rahi hai, jo hamesha meri takat banti hai. Geet meri zindagi tumhari hi to hai. Tumse nahin share karoonga to kisse karoonga. Lekin pahle khana kha lo Geet. Tumhara bhookhe rahna tum dono ki sehat ke liye achchha nahin hai. Hum phir baat karenge.”

She nodded in agreement. They finished their dinner, feeding each other and lost in each other’s eyes.

But when it came to telling her, Maan felt nervous again. He got up from the bed and walked to the window. Geet followed him. Together they looked at the moon and remembered all the occasions when the moon had been the witness of their promises of love and togetherness.

“Geet – meri zindagi mein pahle bhi ek ladki thi.” Finally Maan managed to say and he looked at Geet to see her reaction. She appeared surprised, but calm, but he wasn’t sure he was reading her expressions correctly. So, he hastened to clarify, “Lekin Geet. Isse kuchh galat mat samajhna. Usse hamare aaj aur aane waale kal par koi farq nahin padta. Woh ladki meri zindagi ki bahut badi bhool thi. Woh rishta mere ateet ka ek kaala hissa tha, jise maine dafna diya hai. Jab tak tum meri zindagi mein nahin aayi thi, tab tak main ateet ke us andhere se ubar nahin paaya tha. Lekin Geet, jabse maine tumhein paya, meri zindagi mein nayi roshni aa gayi aur main us roshni ke liye swarthi ho gaya. Mujhe tumhein batana chahiye tha Geet ki tum meri zindagi mein pahli ladki nahin ho, lekin…”

“Lekin aakhiri to hoon na Maan?” Geet asked lovingly.

Maan almost cried with happiness and relief when she said that, “Haan Geet. Aakhiri – sirf is zindagi ke liye nahin, balki aane waali har zindagi ke liye bhi.”

“Aapne isliye mujhe pahle nahin bataya na Maan kyonki aap bure waqt ko yaad nahin karna chahte the?”

“Haan Geet.”

“To aapne theek kiya Maan. Aur aap bilkul sahi kar rahe the. Isse hamare rishte, hamare aaj ya hamare aane waale kal par koi farq nahin padta. Jab aapka mere liye pyaar poora hai Maan, jab usmein kabhi koi kami mujhe mahsoos nahin hui, to ateet ki kahaniyon se hamein kya lena dena hai. Mujhe aapse koi shikayat nahin hai.”

“Sach kah rahi ho Geet?”

“Bilkul,” she smiled.

He came close to her, cupped her face in his hands and said, “Thank you Geet. Tumne mujhe ek baar phir is andhere se nikaal diya.” He pulled her into a hug.

“Lekin Maan mujhe aapse ek shikayat zaroor hai,” she said breaking the hug.

“Kya Geet?” Maan was caught unawares.

“Jis cheez ko aap yaad nahin karna chahte, jisse aapka ab koi matlab nahin hai, woh baat aapne mujhe nahin batayi, to mujhe koi problem nahin hai. Lekin aap kal se pareshaan the iski wajah se, aur aap mujhe batane mein itna jhijhak rahe the? Ye to sahi nahin hai na Maan? Mujhe jaanne ka haq hai na agar koi baat aapko pareshaan kar rahi hai?”

“Haan Geet. I am sorry. Main dar gaya tha. Mujhe laga ki agar tum is baat ke wajah se parehsaan hui ya stress liya to tumhare aur baby ki health ke liye sahi nahin rahega. Doctor ne khaas kar ye kaha tha pichhle check-up mein.”

“Maan. Jab tak aap mere saath hain, aur khush hain, main kissi bhi cheez ka stress nahin loongi. Lekin, jab aapko pareshaan dekhti hoon – jaise kal raat se dekh rahi thi, to main bhi pareshaan ho jati hoon. Aap mujhse waada kijiye ki aage se aap apni pareshaaniyan mujhse share karenge, chhupayenge nahin.”

“Waada karta hoon Geet. Aage se aisa nahin hoga.”

“Waise kya Sameera hi woh ladki hai?”

“Haan.” And told her about him meeting her the day before.

“Uske saath problem kya hui thi Maan? Aur woh wapas kyon aayi hai?”

“Geet. Main un baaton ko dohrana nahin chahta. Bas itna samajh lo ki woh paison ki bhookhi thi. Aur shayad usi ke liye wapas aayi hai.”

“Theek hai. Aap nahin yaad karna chahte to main aapse aur kuchh nahin poochhoongi. Lekin aap ab uske wapas aane ki wajah se pareshaan to nahin hain?”

“Geet. Tum mere saath ho to ab mujhe uske aane ki koi chinta nahin hai. Lekin haan, tum usse door rahna Geet. Waise to main hamesha tumhare saath rahta hoon. Lekin phir bhi – tum apna dhyaan rakhna. Uska jo bhi maksad hai woh uske liye kissi bhi hadd tak ja sakti hai. Main nahin chahta ki Nayantara ki tarah phir koi tumhare ya hamare bachche ke liye khatra ban jaye.”

Geet lightened the situation by becoming her comical self, “Haan. Pareshaan to aap meri hi wajah se hote hain na? Jab koi aur cheez na mile pareshaan hone ke liye, Geet ke liye pareshaan ho jao. Hai na?”

As Maan stared at her in surprise, she smiled reassuringly, “Main poora dhyaan rakhoongi. Chinta mat kijiye. Waise bhi mujhe aapke rahte kuchh nahin ho sakta.”

Maan smiled and planted a caring kiss on her forehead.

And then, as he looked at her smiling, becautiful face, he got lost. Free of his insecurity and guilt, he felt like he needed to own her completely. Her kissed her eyes, cheeks, nose, neck and shoulders one by one. Then he placed his lips on hers in a very passionate and aggressive kiss that left her panting. He picked her up in his arms and settled her on the bed. As he climbed into the bed next to her and continued exploring her body with his sensual touches and kisses, Geet realized that it was not their usual foreplay. He had indeed forgotten about …

“Maan…” she called out his name and put her hands on her tummy, “Nahin…. Baby…”

That suddenly brought him back to the reality. The doctor had advised them against having sex due to the complications in her pregnancy. How did he let himself forget that? He immediately withdrew from her. He was looking lost.

Geet sat up and looked at him feeling guilty. She was on the verge of crying, “I am sorry Maan.”

Maan looked at her in surprise, “Nahin Geet. Tum sorry kyon bol rahi ho. Sorry to mujhe kahna chahiye. In fact thanks kahna chahiye tumhein ki tumne mujhe itni badi galti karne se rok liya. Please Geet. Ye baby hum dono ki responsibility hai na? Aur agar humme se koi is maamle mein galti kare to doosre ko rokna to chahiye hi na? Jab tum apni sehat ka khayal nahin rakhti ho to main tumhein daantta hoon ki nahin?”

Geet smiled and nodded.

“Geet – maine tumse pahle bhi ek baar kaha tha. Hamare paas to poori zindagi hai saath bitane ke liye. To kuchh mahino ka intezaar kya badi baat hai? Main to poori zindagi tumhara intezaar karne ko taiyaar tha. Aur tum bhi to mujhe mere baal safed hone tak intezaar karwane waali thi Geet! Bhool gayin?” Maan teased her about the incident when in her nervousness she had blurted out that he didn’t need her confession so soon because his hair had not become grey yet.

Both of them laughed remembering the incident.

Suddenly Maan turned serious, “Sach bataun Geet. Rishte chahe kitne bhi rahe hon meri zindagi mein, lekin tumse milne ke baad maine jaana ki pyaar kya hota hai. Apne liye kuchh paane ki koshish karna pyaar nahin hota Geet. Pyar ka asli ehsaas to tab hota hai jab apne pyar ke liye kuchh bhi karna aapka maksad ban jaye.”

“Ye baat aapse behtar kaun jaanta hai Maan?”

“Nahin Geet. Ye to maine tumse seekha hai. Tum jab pyaar karti ho to apne baare mein nahin sochti Geet. Apne bachche se pyaar kiya to sirf ye socha ki uski jaan kaise bachegi. Apni zindagi khatre mein daal di. Mujhe chahne lagi to mere bhala soch kar mujhe khud se door karne ki koshish karti rahi. Kabhi parwah nahin ki apne dil ki – us par kya guzar rahi hai. Aur main? Main to bas tumehin paane ke liye pagal hua baitha tha Geet. Tumhein kitna pareshaan kiya maine, kitna sataya tumhein tumhare ehsaas ka izhaar karwane ke liye. Agar maine tab pyaar ko samjha hota to main jaanne ki koshish karta ki tum kyon mujhse door bhag rahi thi, tumhare hanste chehre aur chubulepan ke peechhe chhipe dard ko samajhne ki koshish karta. Lekin main to bas ye soch raha the ki mujhe kya chahiye. Mujhe tum chahiye thi aur is dhun mein tumhara dard mujhe dikh hi nahin raha tha, Geet…”

“Bas Maan,” Geet could not take him beating himself up any more, “Aapko kya koi sapna aata ki meri pareshaani kya thi. Jab maine aapko bataya hi nahin tha to aap kaise samajh sakte the.”

“Wahi to baat hai na Geet. Tumne mujhe nahin bataya kyonki tum mujhe chahti thi aur mujhe pareshaan nahin karna chahti thi. Lekin mujhe to tumse poochhna chahiye tha.”

“Maan. Ho sakta hai aap tab us tarah se apne pyaar ka izhaar nahin kar paye, jaise aaj karte hain. Lekin mujhse bhi to poochhiye ki agar aap sach mein itne swarthi the jitna aapko lagta hai, to main kaise pyaar kar baithi aapse?”

“Meri kismat achchi thi Geet.”

“Nahin Maan. Us samay mujhe atma-vishwas ki zaroorat thi, duniya ka saamna karne ki himmat ki zaroorat thi. Maine apne bachche ki zindagi bachane ka faisla to le liye tha, lekin us faisle ko anzaam dene ki taqat nahin thi mujhme. Aapne mujhe wo atma-vishwas, woh himmat, woh taqat di Maan. Hum dono ye sochte rahe ki hum ek doosre se lad rahe hain. Lekin aap to jhagde ke bahane bhi mujhe majboot bana rahe the. Ye tha aapka pyaar, jise aap samajh bhi nahin pa rahe the. Aapne mujhe woh pyaar diya tha jiski mujhe zaroorat thi.”

Suddenly she changed her tone and faked sternness, “Aur haan Mr. Khurana. Maana ki aap apni wife ki tareef karna chahte hain, lekin iska matlab ye nahin ki aap mere husband ki burai karein. Geet Khurana ye bilkul bardasht nahin karegi! Samjhe aap?”

Maan smiled, “Dekha Geet. Tum ab bhi, mere khud ke munh se bhi meri burai nahin sun sakti…”

Geet put her hands on his lips, “Ab bas. Chup. Bilkul chup.”

Maan found no other way of expressing what he was feeling, except to pull her in his arms in a tight hug.

After a few moments, he said, “Tum so jao Geet. Main Mr. Mishra ke project ka kuchh kaam dekh leta hoon. Din mein kuchh kaam nahin kar paya main.”

“Main aapko brief de deti hoon meeting ki. Waise bhi aap kuchh sun to rahe nahin the.”

“Bilkul nahin. Main tumhein office mein kaam karne deta hoon, taki tumhara man laga rahe aur tum meri nazaron ke saamne raho. Lekin abhi tumhare aaraam ka waqt hai aur ismein koi laparwahi nahin honi chahiye. Samjhi tum? Main tumhare notes padh loonga.”

“Lekin Maan, mujhe neend nahin aa rahi.”

He gave her a stern look and she immediately backed off.

“Theek hai – main sone ja rahi hoon. Aise mat ghooriye.”

He smiled, confirmed that she had taken her medicines and wished her good night before going to his desk to work on the project.